Discipline and the ADHD Child

Discipline and ADHD

Even though it may seem like an ADHD child has more bad behaviors than good, emphasize the good ones as much as possible.

The more you emphasize the good behaviors your child does, the better their self-concept will be. Remember that rewards are usually more effective than punishments. In order for the reward system to work, you will have to catch them doing the proper things.

We so often ignore the behavior of all our children as long as it is passably good. Each of us wants to be acknowledged when we do something good or helpful. We love that Thank You. Children that are praised (not excessively) for doing good things will do more good things to get more attention. They don't want to be punished they just want attention.

Take my word for it, those kids know when you are blowing them off. They know when the praise is just words and when there is true pride, delight, or joy along with the words and the hugs and high-fives.

When your child has misbehaved, try to stay as calm as you possibly can. The more out of control you act, the less seriously the discipline is taken. Make sure when rules are broken that there are very clear consequences and that they are delivered in an unemotional manner.

Be reasonable. Everyone has accidents. Let the punishment fit the crime. Going outside without permission is a much more dangerous action than pouring water on the floor. If all punishment is the same then all misbehavior is the same and that is not the message you need to be giving a child.

Yelling at a child with ADHD is extremely destructive. Yelling at any child is simply teaching that child that yelling is ok.

Save your yelling for a time when you are alone and yelling into your pillow. Time out is still the most effective punishment for a child. Time out should be based on the age of the child. A four year old would have 4 minutes of quiet time. Getting a child especially an ADHD child to sit quietly for 4 or 5 minutes is enough to drive any adult to yelling. Control yourself first.

If you are ADHD and you are raising a child with ADHD, spend some quiet time yourself reflecting on the punishments you received as a child. What angered you, what made you feel less than loved and what worked.

ADHD should never be an excuse for rude or dangerous behavior.

Sharon
copyright (c) 2006 Answers For Your Health/ADHD

ADHD Trials and Triumphs

Too many people think an ADHD diagnosis is the end. No hope except for drugs that totally distort your perception of the world. Drugs that turn children into rail-thin zombies.

My dictionary defines TRIAL as

1. The examination before a court of law


2. The act of testing or proving by experience or use


3. The state of being tried or tested by suffering


4. Experimental treatment or action performed to determine a result to learn by trial and error


5. An experience, person, or thing that puts strength, patience, or faith to the test

If you change 1. to examination by a physician then you have a pretty good description of ADHD using these definitions.

Now lets try TRIUMPHS

1. To win a victory or be victorious


2. To be successful


3. To rejoice over a victory


4. To celebrate


5. To conquer

Anything you do, no matter how small, that contributes to living a normal life is a triumph and should be celebrated.

The opinions expressed in this blog are mine. I am not a doctor. I am not here to diagnosis whether or not you have ADD or ADHD. I will tell you what helps me and my family. I invite you to contribute your 2 cents worth.